I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
