she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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