He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Randomize
