If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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