Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
