you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
