She just used a chaser for red wine.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
