ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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