so that wasnt chicken after all
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
