Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
