the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
