You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
only if we run a train.
done.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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