I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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