I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Be still, my beating vagina.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
