quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
