Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
