Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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