shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
