I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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