May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
