I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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