Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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