i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Randomize