My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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