he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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