The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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