Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize