There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
