Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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