WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize