found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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