My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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