There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
