told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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