Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize