Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
