she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
