She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
