Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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