Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
