in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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