take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
