you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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