I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize