Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
