It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize