fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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