my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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