why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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