I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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