your thong is hanging out like whoa
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You're like the curious george of whores
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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