I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
