He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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