Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
