It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
