Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
now i know why i became what i already was.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
