Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
