Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
