where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
