so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
