Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize