Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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