if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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