You just made me feel so damn special
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
