The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
